You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
