I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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