It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
