I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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