Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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