So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
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No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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