Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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