just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
