O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We are two peas in an std pod
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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