He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
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