Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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