you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
