oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
