the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
The power of my boobs compel you
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
