i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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