This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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