Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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