Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
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