so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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