Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
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Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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