I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
