it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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