fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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