Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
