if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Naked Twister starts at high noon
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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