And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
