I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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