I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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