Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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