I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Congratulations! We have a period
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
