I hope mine doesn't look like that
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
