I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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