While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
