i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
this is an emotional support booty call
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
