I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
