I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
