Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
