just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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