I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
