Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
