did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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