When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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