Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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