your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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