worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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