I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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