my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
