It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
