OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize