I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
