Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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