apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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