the condom got lost in my hair
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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