"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
