I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
