There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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