dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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