yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just high enough for therapy.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
