I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
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I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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